Why then do I have an iPhone?
Certainly, I have nothing to complain about the iPhone. There's more gadgets and gizmos; most of which I hardly ever use, but they're there.
The truth is that I converted to iPhones because everybody around me was using them. I got on the bandwagon much later, in high school. With communication being so important, my classmates and I were always inputing our cell phone numbers into each others phones.
I didn't think much about my flip phone at the time, but I knew it was time to change my phone when I started to get so many of the same comments from people who saw my phone.
"Wow! You're still using a flip phone?"
or
"I can't believe this your phone!"
or
"This phone is a relic. I think I saw one in a museum."
My flip phone was subject to judgement by my peers, and by extension that meant that I was the target of social shaming. I was being labeled as "uncool" for still using a flip phone. And in high school, appearance really mattered. So I did the one thing that could solve the problem: I got an iPhone.
Shame culture is what accounts for why people feel forced to conform to social norms. People follow trends and normative behavior in order to be accepted and avoid social shaming. By not adhering to particular forms of behavior, people are likely to experience social "shame" and be ostracized from others.
There are those who do claim that in our modern society we don't have so much a shame culture as guilt culture. Guilt culture centers around the idea that people do what they do because they have a conscience that tells them what's right and what's wrong. Rather than be motivated to do things due to social reinforcements, people are "guilted" into doing certain things by an internal force in a guilt culture.
I, myself, have also feel the effects of living in a guilt culture. Whenever there's a drive, whether for food, toys, or money, I always contribute. It's not for any social recognition, but rather I do good things because I listen to my conscience. Doing the good deeds appeases the hammering of my conscience telling me I should give back to my community and help others. According to a study, scientists found that doing good things for others does indeed make people feel happier about themselves.
My opinion is that we have both. Shame and guilt are both forces that work on us to make us get certain jobs done.
For example, when I go to PetSmart the cashier always asks me if I want to make a donation to homeless dogs. This question is posed to me every single time I am about to pay during the check-out process. As a warm-hearted and generous soul who loves dogs, I certainly feel sad that there are animals on this planet who were neglected and left abandoned by their previous owners. I want to help these dogs and donate some of my money to pet shelters. I would feel quilty if I didn't do so otherwise.
But, at the same time, there is the influence of shame culture at play too. If I didn't donate, i would feel the accusatory, judgmental stares of the cashier proclaiming that it was wrong and stingy and selfish of me to not donate to these pet shelters. Actually, this feeling of being judged in our society is quite common. Nearly all human interactions involve some inclusion of shame culture. We feel more compelled to do things because we fear the judgement of others.
Shame culture was at large even in ancient Greek times. In Homer's Iliad, shame is what motivates the characters of the Iliad to do things.
Shame culture is evident in how the characters wanted to have Kudos (prestige) rather than suffer Aidos (shame).
One instance of this was when Paris was called out by his brother Hector for hiding at home instead of joining in battle.
Hector to his brother Paris:
"You miserable disgrace, most handsome of men
but woman-crazed, a seducer, a selfish foo,
I wish you had never been born, or had died unmarried-
that would have been far better than to become
a cause of contempt like this, whom good men despise.
The Achaeans must now be mocking us, laughing out loud
and saying, 'Some champion they have! Just a pretty face,
a man without any strength, without any courage.'
Do you save your courage for stealing men's wives?"
- Homer, Iliad 3.33-40
In this example, it is clear that Paris is shamed and scolded by his brother for refusing to fight. Paris feels Hector's criticism as an external form of shame. Paris knew or quickly learned that his cowardice was not to be accepted by his society. In modern times, we might consider Paris's actions as weak but they could be accepted in a pacifist light. However, the motivating force for Paris to join in battle had he lived in a guilt culture would be his inner feeling of loyalty and righteousness to fight for his own country.
Works Cited
Homer. The Iliad. Trans. Stephen Mitchell. New York: Free, 2011. Print.
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