CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — With a pair of dark-rimmed spectacles perched upon his nose, a snowy white beard, and friendly blue eyes, Jeffrey Seglin has a indubitable Santa quality. Appearances aside, Seglin also doesn’t mind being asked questions by those people of all ages. He encourages people to send him letters about their ethical dilemmas and then gifts his readers with the answers to their questions in his column, “The Right Thing.”
Seglin began writing his ethics column for The New York Times business section in 1998. At the time, he scoured through piles of newspapers and magazine clips on his desk to find inspiration. In 2004, The New York Times began publishing Seglin’s column weekly. He wrote about everything from corporate malfeasance to everyday ethical dilemmas his readers faced. Titles of his columns included “Your Parents Or Your Spouse,” “When Finders Aren’t Keepers,” and “Kids And Politicians Should Avoid Lying.”
As he wrote, Seglin noticed readers were sending him questions about etiquette in response to his column. Then, when a publisher approached him to write a book about business etiquette, Seglin felt compelled to accept. His newest book, “The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice,” explores the relationship between ethics and etiquette.
“Ethics is the moral underpinnings for behavior while etiquette is how we agree to behave in social settings,” Seglin said.
He bills his book as a survival guide on how to succeed socially in business and deal with complicated situations. It covers everything from dealing with difficult bosses to the right way to use social media. In the book, Seglin gives answers with “a touch of whimsy.” He tried to make sure his book was fun to read.
“I wanted to make it such that it wasn’t too preachy,” Seglin said. “I wanted to try and engage the reader as much as possible.”
Born in the late 1950s, Seglin narrowly missed the draft for the Vietnam War. He had registered and received a lottery number, but soon the draft was suspended.
Seglin shares the hallmark baby-boomer traits of those born in the years after World War II. Those close to him say his idealistic and uncynical attitude have allowed him to live life with an open mind and face dilemmas with reason. A telling example: One of his Tweets about the presidential election says, “To all my friends on Twitter. No matter how things turn out tomorrow, I will still love you. Now, go out & vote.”
Life Lessons at the Arcade.
As a kid growing up in northern New Jersey, Seglin enjoyed playing games in the arcade next to the supermarket where his parents shopped. Even there, he faced an ethical dilemma. When he was 11 years old, Seglin found an unplayed game left on the arcade machine. The machine had a malfunction and allowed him to continue playing several games in a row without paying. This ended when the arcade repair man came up to him and questioned if he had paid for the game. Seglin wondered what he should do. He paused and didn’t answer the question, but the repairman pointed at the coin slot that had been taped shut. The repairman could tell no one had paid for the games; Seglin realized he’d done the wrong thing. This early experience with lying is an example of the type of question he would seek to address later in his life: What is the “right thing” to do? Coincidentally, it was during that same year that a significant event happened in the Vietnam War. Colonel George Day was taken prisoner by the North Vietnamese on August 26, 1967. As a high school student in Boonton, New Jersey in 1971, Seglin wore a bracelet inscribed the name of a prisoner of war, “Col. George Day,” in protest of the Vietnam War. Thousands of people wore the POW/MIA bracelets during the waning days of the war as a testament that POWs not be forgotten. Seglin wore the $2.50 bracelet throughout high school all the way to his freshman year in college, and he then kept it with him as he moved duringover the years.In 2003, while searching for material for his column, Seglin read an article in The New York Times about cases the Supreme Court had declined to hear. Something about the newspaper clipping made him pause. One case was about military recruiters misleading young men to serve in the military for at least 20 years, falsely saying they would gain medical benefits. The name of the man leading the case was a veteran from Florida named George E. Day. The name seemed familiar to Seglin. He soon realized that Colonel George E. Day was the same name as the one on histhe POW/MIA bracelet. Seglin set up a meeting with Day. However, Seglin found himself in a dilemma. Day had served in the Vietnam war and experienced 67 months of grueling captivity in North Vietnam. Seglin wanted to give Day the POW bracelet that he’d worn as a sign of protest against the war, but he feared the colonel would disapprove. Nevertheless, Seglin took the bracelet with him to meet Day.It turned out the colonel didn’t know the bracelets were in protest of the war. It wasn’t comfortable, but Seglin explained the meaning of the bracelets and how they had been a symbol worn by those opposed to the war. “You can be polite and also be honest with someone,” Seglin said. Seglin’s expertise is especially relevant in light of the 2016 election.“Letting someone run over you is not etiquette— that’s giving up,” he said. “Finding a way to deal with difficult people is a challenge all of us face.” Figure of Wisdom Even a seasoned author like Seglin gets writer’s block. “The hardest part was actually sitting down to write and having the motivation to get it done,” he said. Seglin credits his wife, who is a therapist, as his first book editor. With his newest book, his wife helped him plan out his writing schedule. She divided the 40,000 words by the number of days he had to write the final draft. She then doubled it to give Seglin extra time to edit. “I had a goal of so many words per day,” Seglin said. “She helped me do it, knowing I had to manage other stuff in the process.”Time spent on the book was time away from his other responsibilities. Seglin wrote the book while being both a parent and a grandparent. He is also a lecturer in public policy and director of the communications program at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government. With his background in journalism, Seglin wants to teach a new generation of writers. In dealing with students everyday, Seglin realizes the crucial role that he plays in shaping his students.“He’s often meeting with students to discuss their writing,” his assistant, Alison Kommer, said.Now nearly sixty, Seglin nevertheless is nevertheless able to relate to his students. He treats them how he would like to be treated. In 2014, Seglin’s students nominated him for the Carballo Award, an annual honor to a Kennedy School faculty member recognizing their dedication to students, excellence in the professional field and commitment to public service. “I try to teach them with the same graciousness that I expect them to treat me.” Seglin said. “Of course, we don’t have sit down dinners with candlelight, but I do try to respect them and realize that my job is to teach and be here for the students.”Seglin’s makes sure to impart the lessons he learned as a child. Recently, he wrote about whether or not to agree with a relative’s politics to make them stop talking. He said that there is no ethical upside to pretending to hold a position simply to appease another. As for his thoughts about the the 2016 election, Seglin answered with a quote by Michelle Obama: ‘When they go low, we go high.’ “If they’re going to the lowest possible behavior, you go to the highest possible behavior,” Seglin said. “It doesn’t mean that attacks go unanswered, but [respond] with civility and directness, not offensive language, lies, or character assassination.”
